it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
