i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
