he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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