You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
