I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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