So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
