I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
