you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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