I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
