she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
