I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
