You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
