plz talk dirty to me
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
i've created a new STD.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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