i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
