It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
