so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
