You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
