a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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