Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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