Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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