There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
