Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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