this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
