Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
