So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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