you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
