My nipple is on Facebook.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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