you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
