If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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