She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
