5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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