he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
