real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
