its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
