i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize