You surviving the open bar?
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help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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