are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
