I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
