Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
