guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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