shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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