I just threw up on my dentist
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
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