Kiss
Puke
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
