i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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