If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
