just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize