Christians are straight up FREAKS
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm really busy with my period
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