he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
