i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i dont even know how to be here
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize