Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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