So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
