he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
