Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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