She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
