Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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