The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
