it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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