If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
