I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize