South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
