He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
